Finding ALL your happiness in a shopping bag?

Try finding true happiness in yourself!

Did you know that money and the goodies we buy with that 'moolah ' can make us happy? But (yes, these things always come with big BUTs!) according to recent studies by social psychologists, these material goodies only bring us a little happiness for a very short time. Shame, isn 't it? This rush of happiness is what the shopaholics are hooked on as they chase after the latest must-haves, and what the retail industry and the fashion magazines are banking on as they laugh all the way to the bank. Let me get technical here, certain neurotransmitters that regulate our moods go on overdrive for these compulsive shoppers when they go shopping. Recent studies found that people with Oniomania, the clinical diagnosis for compulsive shopaholics, showed overall low level of serotonin, the brain chemical related to depression.

Similar to compulsive shopping, gambling, over eating or over exercising are other examples of self-medicating behaviour to be happy. So if these compulsions only have a very brief happiness factor, what can we do to be happy all the time? And is it even possible to be happy all the time? As a recovering pessimist, I used to find perpetually happy people quite annoying. As a shrink, I know that annoyance was my disguise for envy. After all, if you ask people what they want in life, the common denominator of wanting whatever it may be is because they believe it will make them happy.

So what do we know about being happy? And what can we do to be happier? Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky (I can 't pronounce her name either, so I refer to her as Dr. Sonja) is one of the leading experts on the field of happiness. Can you imagine? Happiness is not just a 'woo woo' feeling or something spiritual people bang on about, it has become a serious field of study in the last decade in sociology, psychology, business, neurobiology and of course, pharmacology. Yes, these professors and scientists are researching feverishly on the topic of happiness, and not surprisingly using their findings to be happier themselves. Well, Dr. Sonja is one of these scientists. She presents lists and lists of findings and surmises that we start with a genetic set point of happiness that is a baseline we return to, regardless of great setbacks or triumphs, but this only accounts for about 50% for our happiness.

Ok, how about the other 50%? Only about 10% of our happiness comes from our circumstances or situations, whether we are rich or poor, attractive or not, healthy or not, socially supported or not, coupled or not, satisfied with our jobs or not, etc. Yeah, if you 're thinking you 'd be happier if you were beautiful, really wealthy, had an amazing partner, with a fantastic job and great health, well, that only covers 10% of your happiness. If you didn 't have any of those, it only explains 10% of your unhappiness. The remaining 40% of what determines our happiness is in what we do and how we think, regularly. It is our intentional daily activities that make up consistent happiness. So essentially we have control over 50% of our own happiness or unhappiness because it is not possible to alter our genetic make-up, although I do have geneticist friends who say €œnot yet! € with that Dr. Frankenstein laugh.

Our baseline is only a place to start because regardless of what we inherited, we can be a great deal happier than that. So leave your parents out of this! The great news for the control freaks out there is, yes, you can determine your level of happiness and raise your serotonin level yourself without shopping or Prozac! How? Well, let 's start with the 10%. Our circumstances may be based on our choices; the choice to be healthy with health giving foods, exercise and a boost in self development to bolster self worth and esteem. Or the choice to be attractive by learning to be more confident, paying a bit more attention to personal appearance and learning to stop taking yourself too seriously. Or even the choice to be more financially abundant by thinking outside the box, taking a few more risks, retraining and learning from those who have walked the talk. Socially, we can make a decision to keep our supportive friends who genuinely care about us and wean away from those who drain our spirits and are not truly interested in our happiness. Remember, misery loves company. As for your relationship status, if you are doing what we just discussed above, you are well on the way to becoming so attractive and appealing, everyone wants to be with you!

The remaining 40% of intentional daily activities/thoughts that determine our happiness have been proven in scientific research studies. They 're not conjecture by airy fairy authors and they are simple. Out of many, there are three daily activities that have been the most successful in increasing happiness among the hardest grumps and they are 1.Expressing gratitude (not just feeling them), 2. Cultivating optimism, and 3. Avoiding over-thinking and social comparison. You are probably thinking, €œthat 's it!?! € Yeap! It 's as simple as that and they are empirically proven to work. The only catch is, these have to be practised regularly/daily so they become a habit and a part of your character.

It doesn 't matter what the genetic baseline for happiness is because we can make ourselves be at least 50% happier than that and we can create our own circumstances and have that 10% runneth over by making good choices! The 40% is about counting our blessings and EXPRESSING our gratitude to/with others. It is also about recognising the negative AND still be able to draw out the positive in situations and people. Of course the more difficult one is catching ourselves from analysis-paralysis where we 're over thinking and thinking and thinking. Learn to accept when €œit is, what it is. € Very Zen, isn 't it? Luckily, the social comparison is easy to avoid once you understand that other people 's success or shortcomings is not about you but all about them, you can detach from unhealthy feelings of envy or pity.

These three 'Happiness Actions' sound simple, but they 're not, which explains why everyone isn 't happy i guess. You have a go for 10 days and see if you notice a difference. Try it. I dare you to be happy! And if you 're an 'Oniomaniac', you might even save a few quid.

References

Diener, E., Horwitz, J., and Emmons, R.A. (1985). Happiness of the very wealthy. Social Indicators Research. 16, 263-274.

Lyubomirsky, Sonja. (2001). Why are some people happier than others?: The role of cognitive and motivational processes in well being. American Psychologist, 55, 239-247.

Lyubomirsky, Sonja. (2007). The HOW of happiness: The practical guide to getting the life you want. Sphere.

Myers, D. G. (2000). The funds, friends, and faiths of happy people. American Psychologist. 55, 56-67

Klerman, G. L. and Weissman, M. M. (1989), Increasing rates of depression, Journal of the American Medical Association. 261, 2229-2235.

Sheldon, K.M. and Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). How to increase and sustain positive emotion: The effects of expressing gratitude and visualising best possible selves. Journal of Positive Psychology, 1, 73-82